Dabawenya Babe goes to Hawaii

BOSS: “Do you believe in life after Death?
EMPLOYEE : “Certainly not! There ’s no proof of it”, he replied.
BOSS : “Well, there is now. After you left early
yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral,
He came here looking for you.!”

WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”
HUSBAND: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”
HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”

Re-posted from a forwarded email….

Why is brunette considered an evil color?

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right [...]

Four college friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas and party with some friends up there. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Austin until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final [...]

THE BOSS….
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in
sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.
“Hello?”
“Is your daddy home?” he asked.
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?”
The child whispered, “No.”

Dear Tech Support Team:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I [...]